Allison’s reflections, January 28, 2018

This week has resulted in a fair amount of reflection. It makes sense to interpret and process situations based on your own cultural values and beliefs – it’s human nature. That being said, viewing a developing country through a North American lens is exhausting. It’s incredibly useful to take a step back.

Someone recently said to me that the people I meet probably think ‘oh, what does she know…she’s just going back to her privileged life in Canada.’ Interestingly, this hasn’t been my experience at all. If anything, I think it illustrates the ‘North American’ lens concept – we tend to think our way is the better (best) way and then project this view on to other situations. The people in Rwanda are happy. They’re happy despite their history, despite their poverty, despite what we perceive as a ‘lack of.’ And it’s key to recognize that.

This inevitably brings up the more versus less debate. Canada is a culture of more; Rwanda is a culture of less. Our children have iPads and video games; these children have sticks and tires. We have excessive amounts of processed and imported food; they have small amounts of locally grown food. We strive for more stuff; they are content with very little. These values are clearly reflected in the dichotomy of our pace of life. We rush from one thing to the next and take great pride in being busy; they savour a more relaxed way of life. The relationship between expectations and happiness is, undoubtedly, a major player here. This has been a wonderful opportunity to reflect on my own expectations and how they impact the way I interpret the events of my life.

I love the concept of ‘maximizers versus satisficers.’ Briefly, maximizers must always make the absolute best decision and often worry if there’s another, better option available; whereas satisficers are content with the first option that meets their criteria. Generally speaking, I think Canadian culture is about maximizing and Rwandan culture is about satisficing. Perhaps we each need to adopt a little more of one another’s approach in our daily lives!

The exposure I’ve had to the people and culture in Rwanda through home visits has been life-changing. This week, I felt quite emotionally overwhelmed. I’ve seen poverty like never before, and living conditions that are such a complete departure from anything we could imagine in Canada. I’ve seen patients who are sick in ways that we never encounter at home, and who lack access to the basic standards of treatment. I’ve felt frustrated at my inability to effectively communicate with and understand the patients as a result of the language barrier. I’ve felt inadequate in my ability to help. I’ve felt perplexed, and sad, and discouraged.

That being said, I’ve also met many incredible, resilient, beautiful people. I’ve been welcomed into homes with a single chair that they enthusiastically offer to me. I’ve witnessed unimaginable stoicism in the face of inadequate pain control.  I’ve seen families rallying together to provide care like nothing I’ve ever experienced at home. I’ve gotten hugs and handshakes and many warm wishes. I’ve felt inspired, and grateful, and forever changed for the better.

This rollercoaster is a gift. I feel forever tied to the people of Rwanda; they’ve touched a part of my heart I didn’t realize was there.

The nurse, Peace, translated, and we spent most of the visit laughing. This patient said,

 “(in Rwanda) we are sick, we are poor, but we are fine.”